Secrets of Mad Meg

Everyone has a crush on Meg.

I-meghan-I is one of my favorite people on dA.
As a writer and as a model, Meg comes off as being very real, very natural and very human. She exposes herself without being overt. In a cyber-world where it is so easy to over-do, Meg delivers little secrets through the act of restraint. Her best writings consist of only a few words.  
We talked about the way in which the internet allows her to assume an alternate identity, while also fulfilling an authentic artistic drive within her.


1. You are leading a kind of secret life aren't you, Meg?

Oh, very much, yes. Not a lot of people in my real life know that I write poetry and when I tell them I either get the 'oh that's cool now lets talk about blah blah blah' or 'OMG REALLY!? Can I read them!?!?' which are two extremes I'm not really comfortable with.
I only recently shared my work with my current partner and it was really hard to do… I write a lot about relationships and I worry how that will effect the current one, you know, if they'll think I'm pining over some guy instead of focusing my attention on them you know?



In fact the only real world people of mine who read my poetry are here on dA. Which is like… six or seven people out of my entire life. It's a bit strange really seeing as I write more than I model, but I guess that is more tangible for most people, you're seeing an image rather than reading words, does that make sense?
And it's less scary showing my photos… my poetry really comes from the inside, it's the real me where as my modeling is an alter ego, she's so pretty all the time haha...

2. Your modeling here on deviantArt comes off as being very provocative... But your restraint is remarkable. What do you want to make your viewers feel?

Hmm, as I said before my modeling is like an alter ego, she's a pretty, strong woman, not afraid to show off the body she has and make people wonder at what's going on behind her eyes. She's pretty sexy sometimes haha…

I guess I do tend to show restraint still, I've never really thought about it before… I guess… maybe it's because my poses are so simple? They're not overtly sexy… just confident…I like how that sounds.

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A lot of the mood of the shoot depends on what the photographer puts as the title or any post processing they do, its definitely a collaboration. I've always loved being in photos and have aspired to be a model since the age of 10 so I guess it's kind of a 'look at me doing what I love' kind of thing… I don't know… Model Meg really is a different person, as soon as I get in front of the camera something changes and I pose and I pout haha or I just pull this face and it's like BAM! So much emotion!!
It's strange because as soon as I'm not in front of the camera or am just goofing around with the photographer… I'm back to me… sometimes that's captured in the photos and those ones always seem like the most fun ones for me to look at, pure joy and happiness, you know? Other photos I look back on and I'm swept up in the emotion and the beauty… I'm not afraid of appreciating my own body, I wouldn't call it vanity though… one day when I was 16 I looked at myself in the mirror and decided 'hey, this isn't so bad you know' and from then on I've always been quietly confident about it, modeling lets me be loud and proud!

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Some people would call it vanity though, I do tend to tell people that I model occasionally to impress the, but that's usually when I'm feeling insecure or intimidated by them, would you believe I can actually be really really shy!? Haha! Some of my close friends don't even believe me when I tell them that! So telling people about my modeling is a coping mechanism I guess, that's why it's out there more than my poetry maybe… I love it modeling though, it's exhilarating… being able to put on this mask or take the mask off… whichever way you want to perceive it, it's true, mask on or mask off, you choose if you're seeing the real me or not…


   


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3. How do you collaborate with the photographer?

It's very relaxed, with Scott we'll just get together and go 'okay so what are we going to do today?' he might have something in mind or I might have something I want to try but it will end up skewing off in a different direction and we'll just create something wonderful.

Photographer Scott James Prebble scottjamesprebble has this to say about working with Meg:

'I think when it comes to modelling, a woman either has it or they don't. Over the years I have been approached by literally hundreds of women looking to being shot by me, but I'm very selective over who I actually shoot with.
I look for something different when I want to photograph someone, looks mean nothing, they must have soul and they must bring something special to images, that little thing that you can't put your finger on, that is my favourite thing, and Meg has that in spades, every time you point the camera at her you never know what you are going to get, she is well beyond beautiful, she is unusual in a very special way, and the fact that she can be a secret model and writer from her real life just makes me smile even more. She is the true essence of the word Muse.'  -SJP

Meg, tell us about the Siren shoot with photographer Kimberley Munro.
Kim (who I did the Siren shoot with) seems to think up ideas before and go 'oh man Meg I have the best shoot idea!' we've only shot together 3 times and the Siren one was the last one, that took some preparation, she spent months making the backdrop and then getting all that glitter and rhinestones etc on me?! Well, that took a fair while too! I have a notion that the models are the canvas, you know? We're the subjects, so I am quite happy for the photographer to position me or tell me what expression to have on my face etc… not that I don't have any influence on the shoots…





4. Meg, I love your "To-do Lists." They are very fresh and often surprisingly poignant.

One day I just thought of something and thought 'oh man I've got to write that down!' and my phone had this handy to-do list thing on it so I popped the thought in there instead of just saving a blank message, and then, it progressed from there!

To-Do List: May 201101-05-2011 You are my stained glass saint
09-05-2011 Everybody stops to stare at sirens
17-05-2011 She has now shook with rage
18-05-2011 Peppercorns and patience
21-05-2011 I will always be standing on the sidelines.    To-Do List: January 201102-01-2011 A cup of tea and a good cry
02-01-2011 Why is it so hard to be happy?
04-01-2011 I wonder if we catch the same train sometimes
05-01-2011 I love too many people
10-01-2011 Drawing for American Gods
15-01-2011 Chillies and weed
21-01-2011 Rogue stripe
21-01-2011 So glad that ended, what was i even thinking???
22-01-2011 Vomit, blood and broken glass
23-01-2011 Shallow is as shallow does
23-01-2011 Ghost of a sheep    To-Do List: September 201101-09-2011 Deja vu all day means something
05-09-2011 Horse floats and park benches
12-09-2011 She takes rejection quite well
12-09-2011 If i knew what you'd become i never would have done it in the first place
12-09-2011 Dear iPod, you're so fucking right. Love, your owner
13-09-2011 Excessive use of exclamation marks
15-09-2011 Smell of warm wood
15-09-2011 Birthday lost in transit
19-09-2011 Thunderstorms to remind us how small we are
23-09-2011 Censor yourself
26-09-2011 Bruised peach and split lip
29-09-2011 I always miss you when i'm feeling lonely...
29-09-2011 Lamenting the dead she hardly knew
29-09-2011 I feel like such a fraud.
Some of them are truth and some of them are fiction... a random thought pops in my head and I think 'hey that's cool' so I write it down, other times I'm sad or angry so that goes in there.  They're kind of like reminders for me for what I was feeling or certain days... I love watching people comment on them and read into them, I love it when people relate to my work. Sometimes it's funny to see what people think because sometimes they are way off and it makes me giggle to see what they think, not in a mean way, it just amuses me sometimes.

I have a rule with my to-do lists which is sometimes tough to stick by 'once written, never deleted'
I worry sometimes that I may piss people off or give them the wrong idea, 'cause some of them are real life people you know? And they can get the wrong idea sometimes. I don't know if I'll ever stop doing them… I don't think I can! They're kind of my signature piece I guess!

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5. Does it matter that you are a female when you write?

I've never really thought about it…
Sometimes I guess it does bug me… that people will think I'm just another whiney girl talking about relationships... but no, generally I don't think it matters…

I Don't Want To Wash My HairMy friend,
curled up around me,
said my hair
smelt nice.
I did not tell her
that was because
it smelt
of you.       Made UpI put on make-up
to make myself feel pretty
because God knows
you don't anymore.

6. Wild parties or intense conversations til dawn?

Both please!

Things I Shouldn't Be DoingLiving in your old house.
Sleeping in your old bed.
Making love to your old boyfriend.
Loving every minute of it.

We GoTo the park
to the bench
to sit and not
look at each other.    It's Not A Bad ThingOf all the
cliff-edge eyes
I've loved
yours have been
the softest.   

7. Does fear, loneliness or sadness play a role in your creative process?

Oh heaps!! Loneliness especially, and heartache… sadness yeah… there's been a couple people who've died who I miss…

And exes and stuff, like - things I didn't say, things I did, why did they break it off? look where they're at now etc etc… the usual girly suspects I guess haha
And relationships to be, there are a few about them, the apprehension of should I shouldn't I? What if this blows up in my face? Am I doing the right thing? All that kind of stuff...



Fear does too yup, especially the fear of putting myself out there, which sounds silly because that's what I do with my poetry…
I think it's more transforming this dA life into my real life, transferring it across you know?

I did submit some poems to places recently, that was terrifying! I got rejected b each but it didn't really affect me as bad as I thought it would, I think that's because I'm still new to the whole submitting things, and I'm still finding my feet in that area of it…
I find it easier to write when I'm sad or lonely or some 'bad' feeling… I guess a lot of poets feel like that… it can be hard to write a happy poem and have it have the same genuine feeling without being too… sweet… or something.

The Cake Is A Liebut the bacon is not.
the bacon
is never
a lie.

8. What is the worst sin an artist can commit?

Being untrue to yourself in your work.

I wouldn't even call it 'selling out' because so many fantastic people I know, photographers especially, work for money and still get to keep their wonderful stylistic uniqueness about them. People keep it even when they write articles in magazines or newspapers… It's wonderful when they keep the truth of their work in it, not matter how commercial it becomes.

Like, for me, sinning would be sitting down and writing an epic fantasy novel like Lord of the Rings or The Inheritance series… it just isn't me, it isn't how I write… that would be my sin… maybe one day that would change, you never know how your art will progress, but for the moment that would be my sin… writing something long and lyrical…
I mean I'd love to do it, but I just don't have the capacity, and whenever I try it just sounds so shit and just… shit... so I don't because that is me lying to myself via my art, and it's a disgusting feeling…

9. Will you share a parting secret, Meg?

You have my poems, and in each poem there is an element of truth, an element of who I am. Sure I have things that I have not yet shared with you all yet, but that doesn't mean I never will. No, I don't think I have any secrets from you, some of them just may be harder to figure out but they're all there.

John Paul. I want to leave you with something that my friend wrote to me, here on dA, that pretty much sums my double life up:

'to share is to both give and receive.

it's one of those vital acts
that gives the sense of approaching music
and the feeling that

who i am
dances
in who i
seem to be.'
Quote from Anthony-Ryan

we are dancing in ourselves, I love that image…
It's so true…
I am dancing in myself and it's up to you to figure out which me you are seeing.



Thank you for sharing, and good-bye for now, Meg.

-John Paul